COPYWRITING FAQ

So, how much do you charge?
This, of course, is the million dollar question. And luckily for you it's not a million dollar answer. There's no set rate card - every project is unique and each client has different needs, wants, hopes, dreams, and deadlines.

Yeah, but how much?
I charge a single ‘project fee’. A small job (say a single web page, short DL brochure, DM piece, print ad, radio script, letter) may be around $300 depending on a bunch of factors. A larger brochure or multiple web pages and we’re up above the $500 mark. Beyond that, we’re talking entire websites, longer copy jobs and so on, that require more research and/or time. My costs are very reasonable – I’d hire me.

Why a project fee and not 'per-hour' rate?
'Per-hour' is a bit like catching a cab with only twenty bucks in your pocket - there's always that sense of uncertainty as the meter ticks over. This tends to make everyone nervous and that gets in the way of producing the best work. With a project fee, I'll give you the figure upfront, and you budget for it accordingly. You'll never be left three blocks short of your destination, and won’t be at all upset if I spend 94 hours writing your slogan.

What’s a cab? It’s like Uber but for transportation.

What about revisions?
Every quote includes a round of revisions. The only exception is if the brief has changed significantly. In that case I will cry like a baby and bang my fists against the keyboard. (You will see or hear none of this.)

What if I don't pay you?
You will find a severed horse head in your bed.

Actually, I’m only after a quote. I’ll probably never speak to you again.
Well, at least you’re honest. Getting a quote is FREE, so just email me. I’ll turn it round quick and we can get on with our lives. Remember, I’m not a pet – you don’t have to feed me regularly (but I do like walks and chasing sticks). Use me once a YEAR or once a WEEK, I don’t mind. That’s what freelance is all about.

Can you do a 'ballpark' quote if I don't have all the info yet?
Sure, if it helps to give you a rough idea for budget. The golden rule is the more information I have upfront, the easier it is for me to accurately quote the thing.

No, I'm sorry, I actually want you to quote on building me a ballpark.
Oh, I see. No, I don’t build ballparks. I’m a writer, remember?

You don’t live anywhere near me. Is that a problem?  It’s a digital world. Email and video calls are the best friends of a copywriter (who generally doesn’t have any other friends). I’ll work with you, wherever you are – Sydney, Scottsdale, Singapore, Stockholm, Skegness and even places that don’t start with S.

Let me just make sure I understand this. We DON'T actually need to meet face to face?
That's right. I haven’t met most of my clients. And I look forward to not meeting you too.

So why would I have a total stranger write about ME and MY business? You're very close to what you do, sometimes a little too close. Now who are the people you're trying to target? Total strangers, mostly. I can write it for you because I AM YOUR TARGET MARKET - a total stranger also trying to figure out what you're selling. Sometimes it's good to have someone step back and see things from a different perspective.

In your writing, do you use a whole lot of big words that no one will understand?
Not at all. In fact, I'm a big believer in a 'plain-english' conversational style. However, if you want fancy, I'll still excogitate a sense of breviloquence and ensure perspicacious lexicography does not proliferate.

What if I don’t like what you’ve written?
Well, after I've picked up the pieces of my shattered ego, I'll happily rewrite to suit the style you're going for, at no extra cost (unless the brief had dramatically changed). Remember, by getting as much information as possible up front, it reduces the chances of me getting it wrong.

You mentioned earlier that email and video calls are your only friends. Is this true?
It was a joke. I have friends. Shut up.

Do you have a degree in writing?
No. I actually have a degree in Psychology, a diploma in Graphic Design, and I once did a night course in Beginners Spanish. But writing have always been my passion. And working in advertising honed my ability to communicate in a more results-driven, call-to-action way.

A night course in Beginners Spanish you say?
Oui.

Are you one of those people that goes around finding spelling and grammar mistakes in printed signs and advertisements?
Yes, that's me. The humble apostrophe has suffered so much abuse through the years that I'm surprised it still has the will to carry on.

I detect a very faint accent to this font. Are you a kiwi?
Wow, you’re good. Born in New Zealand. Have been in Australia since 2005.

FICTION FAQ

Gosh that copywriting FAQ section was a bit big, wasn’t it?
Totally. Don’t worry, this one will be super quick.

Have you written a book?
I have not.

But you’re working on a manuscript?
Actually no. People have said I have a book in me, but I’ve had a bunch of X-rays and nothing yet. I’ll keep looking.

So what fiction DO you write?
Short stories. Some are really short, just 100 words in length short. Flash fiction it’s called.

Oh, they have signs prohibiting that in art galleries, right? Nope, that’s flash photography. Totally different.

How much do you love Flash Fiction? So much that in 2018 I co-created a monthly 500-word competition called Furious Fiction. (Google it – it’s a lot of fun.) I’ve also entered a bunch of competitions, with some success. I think it’s the copywriter in me that enjoys the deadlines and limited prompts.

Can I read some of these stories? Of course – click the FICTION page on this site. They’re quick reads.

Can you beta read my story/book? Maybe. Get in touch!